Coming back to Blogging

so it has been a really really long time... Olivia is now 15 months old and starting to talk and all the fun stuff... She is a beautiful toddler that keeps our lives very very active to say the least. We are trying to sale our cabin so that we can move to my parents house and they are moving in to my grandparents house. It is so strange to see the transformation going on in the home that was my home away from home all my life but it is okay I know that my Granny and Papa would want my parents to make it their own. Jason and I are going to do the same thing to my childhood home. The memories of my childhood is in both houses and always will be and now I am excited that Olivia will be able to have that too. I am still struggling with the loss of my Granny and I know that it is going to be really hard next month. It is hard to believe that someone that I loved so very much will be gone a year on Sept 18th. I know she is better and God healed her the moment that she left us but nothing makes it any easier when all I want to do is talk to her about all the cute stuff that Olivia is doing or the fact that I want to call her on my bad days just to hear her say she is going to pray for me and knowing that she always had the right words to say. Or the fact that the other day I dialed her phone # to tell her that I have lost 38lbs and gone down two sizes. I cant break the habit of wanting to talk to her. I just recently have allowed myself to be in her house with all her stuff for more than 15 minutes and it was so hard to go thru everything for the estate sale that we had. I actually could only be there a little at a time because it was too hard to see strangers going through her things, knowing that everything on those tables had a meaning to me and our family. I told my mother this afternoon that Jason said that all we were doing was becoming the next version of Granny and her. I wouldnt have it any other way. I know that I will be only so lucky to have the type of relationships with my Mother as I get older that she had with Granny. I know that we are already on our way. I dont think I go a day without talking to my mother at least 3 times a day. that was something that we both did with Granny and now we do it to eachother. I know that this is not the happy and cheerful blog that I probably should have done my first time back in 1/2 a year but this is one reason why i have been keeping this up is because I knew I would want to write about my Granny. Next time I will write about Olivia and post lots of pictures but this time I had to just talk. Promise to get back to being better at this. My baby is growing up and I know that this is a way for some of you to watch her.